Crossroads.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Always wanted to put tat pic up! :P
Sometimes i feel like holidays in between semesters are like a break from my past and my future.. As though im moving back and forth between the 2.. Past being my life with my high school mates, being 17 and and naive, young and unexposed, just wasting time to get through the day, yet not wanting everyday to end whenever friends are around.. Life then were all 'scheduled'. School in the morning, hanging out with friends and all, come back to a quiet home, and its baby-sitting all the way, helping my mom out.. Dinner with family and school again the next morning.. And yah, bowling in the evenings when i was still active in the sport.. Everything was all planned out.. No room for a difference..
Future being my uni life.. Hostel life.. Life outside, where im all alone on my own making my own decisions without other people's consent, life spent doing things i wanna do and yet not being as happy as i thought i would be... Experiencing freedom for a change, i can get up and not make my bed, sleep with nth on, not sleeping at all, going out with uni frens to places an hour away just to have a cup of nestlo ais and a piece of roti bom.. Yeah, freedom's good.. But, like i said, it wasnt as good as i thought it wud be.. Yea, my 'Future'.
I tend to wake up in the morning and just sit to myself, thinking wat i reli want in life.. Wat am i reli after? Among these 3 'different lives' which is the 1 i reli wanted the most? When i was in high school, i always wanted more freedom.. ALWAYS.. always complaining about the fact that i lack freedom compared to my other friends..
But yet when i reach uni level, i still complain abt the same thing.. Though im allowed to go out with frens till 1 in the morning without my parents complaining much, i still cant get enough..
Is it just me, or ITS JUST ME????
At times, i just duno wat i want.. I serioiusly dont..
Like before i was able to drive, i told myself, once u get ur license, dun ever think of a getting a car, they edi spent so much sending u to college, paying tuition fees, hostel rent, books and all.. U cant burden them anymore..
But now tat i got my license, i just cant help it.. My heart juz longs for something more no matter where i stand..
Give me this and i want that, give me that, and i want something else.. It just never ends..
But no matter what, 1 thing never change, wherever i am, i am surrounded by friends.. Tat is 1 thing i am not ashamed to boast abt.. I dun have to worry abt being alone.. (Note : not lonely).. Wherever I am, be it in Limkokwing, Desaria or back here in Subang, they are always around me.. And everyday I thank God for that.. Coz they make all the difference..
So guys!!! If ur reading, u knw who u r.. I knw wat a lucky SOB i am with u guys around.. Haha..
Thx a lot guys..
Love u guys forever..
Ish, i begin to sound so gay...
Listening To :
Less Than Jake - The Rest Of My Life
Always wanted to put tat pic up! :P
