| Let love be your guiding force

All good things eventually comes to an end...

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Even the scariest looking guys have moments like these...
Tats Emad on the left and Fahad on the right, both from Saudi Arabia.. Great buddies of mine..Pic caught on our way home from KLIA in the morning after sending Fadhil off flying back to Sri Lanka..
They're very nice ppl once u get to knw them.. Honestly, i had a bad impression on them Middle Easterns when i came to Limkokwing.. Flooded with them.. It was like we're in their country or something like tat.. haha..
The 1st time i met Fahad (guy on the right) i got so intimidated.. He reli got this scary stare put on everytime he walks around.. And his voice is soooooooooo deep.. Reli gave me the impression of those guys who doesnt wanna get to knw u whatsoever..

After a few weeks hanging out at Martin's place, all of us started to warm up i guess... Every1 started insulting each other, laughing at silly stuff we do.. DOING silly stuff together.. All kinds of stupid nonsence.. Then onli i realize tat scary looking big guy is juz like any1 of us.. He laughs over the stupidest things ever, he cracks lame jokes, he does everything we do.. Haha..
Yea, talking abt laughing, without a doubt Fahad has the funniest laugh i have ever heard in my entire life.. Hands down!!! U guys reli gotta check it out.. You wont believe its coming from him.. The 1st time i heard him laugh, i burst out laughing myself, not knowing wat in the world he's laughing about.. Seriously..

This is like my last week here edi.. Having my final Law paper tomorrow.. Hopefully things turn out well.. Weird thing is, im not reli worried about tomorrow's paper.. But im feeling more n more down by the day.. Almost everyone finished their semester edi.. And one by one, they're all leaving.. Few days back, Fadhil left for Sri Lanka, today Sandeep left for India and juz now we saw the last of Riya.. She's flying to London 1st thing tomorrow morning.. Martin also went back home, so now those left here are Prashanth, Fahad, Emad and myself. And Fahad's flying back so Saudi nex Wednesday, and the worse part is he is not coming back ever.. He finished his course here, n he's planning to take up some engineering course back home.. Juz when all of us actually built this close bond with each other, the biggest clown is leaving for good.. Im seriously gonna miss tat big guy...

Oh yea, u might be wondering why of all the names not a single chinese name came out.. Yea, the guys i mix with over here (or rather those that im close with) are majority non chinese.. Like what i told Fatma on msn tat day.. Since i came here, i've been very racist.. But towards my own race i guess...

Had a crush and thinking it was love,
Fell in love, thinking it was merely a crush,
Am I too late?

Listening To :
Screeching Weasel - Cool Kids

Coffee & Cigarettes.. Things tat kill you..

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Knocked some senses into myself over the past few hours.. Finally i can say tat im over it..
Came to realize tat there are so many other things tat i shud be pursuing and enjoying other than that.. It aint everything in the world.. i gotta get myself right the nex time.. It aint worth emo-ing for..
Again, very tiring these past 2 days.. Even now, im dozing off while blogging.. So i'll keep it short i guess.. yesterday i had economics, n i can say im pretty confident with wat i've done.. shud be able to score an A if things turn out well.. So i decided to chill for the day n not study.. Ended up hanging out at Fadhil's place watching Die Hard 4.0 and Gone in 60 seconds.. On DVD.. Yea, i knw.. I havent watched it yet till yesterday..
It was great.. Both were so dramatic.. filled with action from start to end.. No regrets..

Oh yah, today is a special day for some1..
Wishing the great Ng Kar Mern a very happy 18th Birthday!!!

Finally, ur a legal major in the country.. Haha.. :P
I still owe u a gift though.. Maaf ya..

Listening To:
New Found Glory - Kiss Me

Cloudy thoughts...

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

1 down, 5 to go.. wow.. wat an achievement..
Surprisingly, accounting was relatively easy.. not to say tat i can score an A for sure, but im definitely hoping on it.. Tomorrow im having economics, the subject that im sure im still running for an A+.. hopefully i wont screw up tomorrow's paper.. (and yet, i can still find time to sit down and blog.. amazing huh.. )

I wanted to post this up for quite a while now, but never reli got unto it.. Yup, the nex thing im gonna get really serious on would be drums.. Been wanting to get on it, but i kept pushing it coz im still hooked up with guitar.. and coz i dun have a drum set around me to practice on..
Well, if u guys were wondering, tats Mike Webber up there, drummer for Planetshakers.. He's the 1 guy tat i reli look up upon and try to mimick his style while im looking for my own..
Duno if its juz me, but i like his impromtu style when he juz plays according to wats appropriate at tat particular time.. Coz of christian music maybe?

Thank God tat i made it this far although im all on my own.. so far i onli learn by ear, and by trying out stuff tat i think will work all by myself.. At least i can play basic stuff.. Still learning along the way.. I've tried playing for the entire song of Jason Lo's Operator, and i surprisingly i got through.. But as u wud knw, the song's drums are very basic ler.. can even pull it off without the toms.. Bass, snare, hi-hat and a crash was all tats needed..

Thank God for the opportunity to 'practice' everytime i jam with kay sim n keith.. Well, they were looking for a drummer, and they couldnt find any1, so im juz 'in' their 'band' to complete it and juz to keep the beat in for them.. But at least im getting the idea of how it feels to actually play with live instruments.. Aint easy i'll give ya tat..
Crap, i juz hope tat i wont get TOO into it until im out of UNI on my own, so i wont have to trouble my parents by pestering them to get me a drum set..

Winnie Hilman Kwan!!! Jealous-nya, u got a whole set at home.. Yamaha some more.. Ish ish..
U better let me lay my hands on them when i get the chance to.. :P

Nice guys always finish last..
Prove me wrong..

Listening To :
Vertical Horizon - You're A God

Down memory lane...

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Yesterday was a blast!!! Deepavali at Hema's hse.. Dint expect her to invite me over actually.. haha.. Thx Hema!!!
Started the journey from desaria at abt 730, (yea, i was late...). Martin drived me since he wanted to go back as well, so didnt had to rely on my dad.. He was rushing though, thx to me who got ready by 720.. :P
Reached the shell station in shah alam at around 8 edi.. And there was kevin waiting for me.. With his new geeky look.. Tat guy semakin lama, semakin look more like an A level student.. haha..
Nevertheless, he provided me a ride to Hema's hse and also a ride back.. So, thx Kev!!!

Reached there and everyone was there already.. People i knew, people i was close to, people i wasnt close to.. N Hema was like running up n down getting things ready and all.. Kesian..
We were juz hanging out when kevin actually switched the channel to 8tv coz he was kejar-ing this korean soap opera.. Abt some putar belit-ed love story..
Surprisingly i found it rather interesting.. Maybe coz i havent been watching stuffs like these in a very long time.. And apparently Adeline edi watched the whole series, so we were all like asking her wats gonna happen nex.. N i kept bugging kevin to tell me why stuffs happen n who is who.. kesian tat guy...

Dinner got served, and we were all holding our plates in front of the tv now watching project runway malaysia.. Yea, sad rite.. haha.. Apparently I was like the onli guy over there who was interested.. ( wat is wrong with u ppl? ). So it was me n like 5 other gals on the couch watching.. while the other guys tend to watch as time goes by since there's nth else better to do.. haha..

I can't reli recall exactly how, but for some apparent reason, every1 over there started calling me gay.. -.-''
it kept going on and on till kang min took every single opportunity to bring tat up again n again.. So it never reli rested..
Guys, for the very last time.. Im straight.. :S

Later on, we had a small celebration of Hema's sister's b'day.. I dint knw it was planned anyway.. haha.. so i juz joined in the fun n sang her the song n took a part of the cake.. :P
sry..
Reli had a great time over there... Merely maybe coz of the conversations we had.. *disclosed* :P
Oh yah!!! And some1 brought a bf!!! *woot!!!
Too bad i dint get to c.. Was stuck to the tv coz of tat korean show, n by the time i got to myself, the guy edi ciao.. How sad.. Haha.. Why do i sound more like a gal nowadays? Hmm..
Yo, Kar Mern, maybe ur gonna get a gay bestie after all.. XD

Christine & Me.. Oh yah, baru teringat u wanted that picture.. XD

Ker Mern & Me... Some things never change..

Kang Min & Me.. Some things DO change.. :P

Me & Hema, our beloved hostess.. Thx for putting it all up together.. :D

Me & Shee Wuee.. Spontaneous.. Officially the 1st picture together.. And sadly she's still taller than me.. :(

Listening To:
Sum 41 - Walking Disaster

Deja Vu - It's all taking place again...

Friday, November 9, 2007

Why is this happening to me again???
I dun wan to go through the same old shit knowing that the outcome wud be the same...
Knowing that for a fact, why am I still feeling this way????
What is wrong with me???
Why can't u be like every other kid around you??
Juz stop falling so deep again!!!
Experience tells you..
Havent u had enough? Or are u juz looking for more pain?
Wait, Im talking to myself.. Not u..

They are all the same!!
Well, at least all of them over here..
Wait till u get out of this place..
Then onli bring in that matter into mind..
1st sem was hell, 2nd sem was great and u wanna build this up to ruin ur 3rd sem???
Wait, Im talking to myself!!!

Sorry peeps.. Gotta let it out.. Aint talking abt anyone but myself..

Listening To :
Augustana - Coffee and Cigarattes

Unpredictability..

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Very random last few days.. For starters, audrey had probs with shaun.. Well, technically not probs btw them, but probs tat involves them.. I dunno how to put it here..
I reli feel bad for her.. After so much, things wud actually turn up like this.. And to think tat i cant do much to help mend things up, i reli have nth to say...
But, to every1 out there, if ur reading this n u knw her, dun jump into conclusions.. There's so much more than wat it seems.. Its juz complicated..
To audrey, dun think too much anymore, maybe there's a reason things end up like this.. HE always have plans for us.. Things happen for reasons only HE knows.. Trust HIM.. :)

Today was a loooooooooong and confusing day.. i actually overslept this morning.. Alarm rang at 6, n i delay to wake up all the way till 845!!! By the time i got ready it was around 9.. (Btw, class is at 9) Took the 915 bus and reached campus at around 930.. To start things off, 1 of my classmate actually fell off the bus, (while she was trying to exit) and injured her leg.. Good thing nth serious..
I was practically running to class after helping Haifa n Salwa.. The best part was, i reached class7 around 935 and Mr Issah was nowhere to be found.. He onli came into class at around 10.. -.-''
Class got dragged on all the way till abt 115.. Rushed for lunch coz i have economics at 2pm..
I actually decided to try out the Iranian food today.. 10 bux per plate!!! Unbelievable..
But it was all worth it.. The chicken was huge!!! N it kept me filled up all the way till dinner..

I actually went out of economics b4 the class ended, couldnt take it anymore, was falling asleep in class.. Reli needed to go back n juz rest.. Came back at around 4, slept all the way till 630.. Then went up to A-07-10 to c the guys.. Went down, bungkus dinner n ate upstairs.. Then we went back down for ice cream.. It was me, Martin n Fadhil.. Then on the way we met Bolor.. (Mongolian name...) So she joined us for the walk to the convenience store n we had our ice cream.. Oh yah, they were talking abt swimming for the whole day, trying to decide actually when shud they go for a dip..
After the ice cream, we walked to the pool side, juz chilling.. And Bolor reli had the intention to go in.. She was like asking all of us to go, but none of us actually wanted.. It was like 830 tat time? haha..
Finally, she challenged me to dive in.. I counter by saying tat i will go in if she does.. Thinking tat she was in jeans n a long sleeve shirt, she wont actually do it.. Mana tahu she took it seriously, took off her jeans n terus masuk.. We were all shocked.. haha..
So i didnt had much of a choice, but to join her in, since we made a deal, n soon 1 by 1, all the other guys came in n joined us..
While swimming, i actually saw something wrong in her.. She was like all happy n cheerful in front of us, but she always try to be by herself n when she is, she looked down, as though something big reli happened to her..
i couldnt get it out of her though, kept asking her wats wrong.. she nvr wanna tell..

Haha, i gotta admit everytime the guys compliment my body, i feel good abt it.. All the hours at the gym finally paid off.. Ppl actually noticed my hard work.. :P Onli Martin who always say he's gonna get a better looking 1 compared to mine.. haha..

So here i am, in front of my laptop typing possibly the longest post ever this far, when its way past bed time.. ( its edi 325, n i have a class at 10.. )
Lately i juz have problem going to bed early.. Not tat im complaining..
Seemed like a fun day, but this void inside of me juz seems to get bigger n bigger.. I wonder why..

I've been trying to talk to you,
Even though we have conversations everyday,
I've been trying to reach you,
Though you're just by my side.

Listening To:
Westlife - You Make Me Feel

Peak of Happiness

Monday, November 5, 2007

I finally got a LAN cable!!!!!
Haha, internet now is superbly extremely fast.. Much more reliable compared to connecting with wi-fi..
Web pages now pop up in juz seconds.. Aint tat cool.. haha.. harap maklum ler, when i was using wireless it was very slow..
Too bad downloading speed remains the same.. Or else, it'll be heaven.. At least we'r somewhere close now.. haha..

Took the picture above way back during SUKMA, forgot was it b4 the opening ceremony or the closing ceremony.. All i remember is we were waiting at this massive football field b4 entering the stadium.. And somehow i spotted the rainbow.. Was rushing to take it, dint manage to get the perfect angle and focus, sry ya! XD

Yesterday was kinda fun actually.. Fadhil n me went over to Raja's place coz he invited us over to taste his mee goreng.. Taste different, aint like mee goreng after all.. But somehow it was addictive.. haha..
The 3 of us planned earlier to go to the cc downstairs for another marathon of battlefield n CS, but then we decided to watch American Pie instead.. It was freaking funny!!! But its very very dirty.. 18++ haha.. yea, i knw, american pie's been around so long, baru skarang i go watch..
Before this i watched the naked mile, but yesterday we watched part 1 and part 2.. It was way better.. haha.. the 3 of us there, holding a plate of Raja's gourmet mee goreng with him semi-naked watching american pie.. sounds so wrong eh.. XD
oh yah, for part 2, we were joined by Raja's korean housemate n his gf.. Aint tat bad after all.. :P

Study week's here!!! Supposed to be the time for me to catch up with watever i miss out so i'll be prepared for the finals, but i have to rush all the assignments pula.. All deadline this week.. Can't afford to slack edi.. Haihz..
N believe it or not, i seriously havent start studying.. Not a single page.. Its all been assignments all de way.. Gonna kick it up to high gear.. No matter wat, i muz nail the finals.. I dun wan a mere pass.. I wanna keep my CGPA up.. haihz..

Can't believe im actually enjoying Sinatra.. :P

Listening To :
F. Sinatra - I Won't Dance

Never Again.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Life,

Just when you thought things were turning around,

Just when you thought it will take a turn on you,

Just when you were looking forward to the future,

It lets you down one more time.

Life,

Where's the justice in it?

Where's fairness in opportunities?

Where does hope lies anymore?

Just can't seem to find it...

Life,

Given a choice, I'll live one of my own,

Me, myself and I,

Noone else present to break this heart again...

Life,

Where's this essential thing tats missing?

This thing called love?

Perhaps im the still naive...

Perhaps im still dumb...

Life,

Meaningless...

Simply meaningless...