| Let love be your guiding force

Meaningless Existance

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Never in my life i've ever come across such sad eyes. Took this pic during my last trip to Melaka. He's actually half-blind. Only 1 of his eyes are working.. (Yea, im refering to the horse as a "he", i juz cant use the word "it"). He was born out with only 1 functional eye.. And believe it or not tat saved his life. The owner (guy in yellow behind) said if he's born totally blind, they wud have shot him since he's useless to them.. Good thing he brought some money to the owner by winning small races in Melaka, or else God knows wat will happen to him.

To think tat even a horse's life cud end up so miserable, wat im experiencing aint tat bad.. Yes, we have different sets of problems.. But still, my "sufferings" is nothing compared to his.. He was fighting for his life by pleasing the guy who in the end of the day puts food in his bowl.. Talking abt food, according to the owner, the day we met them, he was edi on his 3rd day without food.. Seems tat he's going overweight..

I mean, c'mon, how overweight can u be until u have to stop feeding him for 3 days? To think of how cruel our race cud get...

Im not really myself today.. Came down with fever this afternoon.. Thank God i didnt pass out half way back here.. I was edi having problems even walking.. I duno wats wrong with me..

Anyways, its been a while since i fell sick, so its not surprising i actually wud since i havent been sleeping n eating well for the past 2 weeks..

Good thing it wasnt during exams..

Another week passes by, and as it does, i begin to wonder wat am i reli doing here.. This week for example, if u wud to compile the amount of hours i reli sat down n studied, i think i barely touched 3 hours.. Gotta stop slacking n get back my momentum.. Finals is like in 6 weeks or so.. Ever so close.. Not confident, reli...

Nex wednesday i'll be visiting the federal court of m'sia in putrajaya as part of our law field trip.. Juz wat i needed.. Cant take it any longer juz sitting in class, studying things tat i dun even know how it works in the outside world.. Semester 2 have been boring so far academic wise, besides accounts, because of the fact tat all we study is all theory n no application.. Unlike semester 1..

Though i know there r so many other bitter things out there to go through, i juz cant help but to lay down here n sulk on the bad things in life i've went through.. I know, wat i've been through is nothing compare to others.. Yea, c'mon, i mean how bad can a Uni student's life get rite? All we have to worry is abt assignments, lectures, tutorials and maybe bits of peer pressure and loneliness? Yea, aint bad at all...

We are who we wanna be
We are who we believe we are

We are who we think...

Listening to :

Marion Raven - For You I'll Die

Light of the world...lead us on...

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Figured out i needed a change of perspective.. Once in a while, change is good.. Like wat i said, it rejuvenates..
Didnt reli get this layout right though.. The posts cant fit into the borders properly.. Coz the background was preset, n somehow i couldnt find the codes for the size of the posts.. Oh well...

Was juz talking to kevin yesterday at his place, and somehow we started talking abt our religion background.. And ever since then, i've been thinking when is the right time for me to actually get baptized (yea, im not baptized yet). For those of u who didnt know y, coz my parents made the decision to allow me to choose my religion when im old enough, tats y they didnt get me baptized.. In a way, im thankful for them allowing me to make my own choices, but in another way, i've been questioning y im not baptized from the beginning..

After thinking it through, by the way Im living now, Im not ready at all.. Yes, i do attend churches, yes i do read the bible, yes, i do pray, but all of those doesnt matter if i go around cursing everyday or do things which im not suposed to.. There r countless more things i shud straightened up.. Aint that simple.. Dun get me wrong, im not walking away, im not reluctant to go through it, im not scared of commiting to HIM, im juz not ready.. No point getting baptized, cleansed through and go back to the same way im living now.. I need time..

Revolution is coming real soon.. Anyone interested? :)

Listening to :

Hillsongs United - The Stand

Revolution '07

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

YEAH!!! Thought i wouldnt be able to attend any rally this year... And this came out... XD

Spread the word y'all!!!

For more information, visit http://www.revolutionrally.blogspot.com/

I'll link it up too so it'll be easy... :D

Emptiness.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Technically i have 14 more hours till my management paper.. After that i'll have a short break i guess.. Reli need to chill n juz get out of all these for a short while.. Not tat i dun wanna study though.. Its juz tat i reli need a break.. For the past 2 weeks everyday i've been going to class, trying to catch up with all the lectures, finish up all my tutorials, come back n start rushing for assignments.. Everyday i've been going through the same thing, stressing so much day after day.. Partly myself to blame coz i push some of my assignments till the last minute ler..

Juz finished law today.. Paper was tough.. Was forced to sit with a bunch of Iranian guys.. Thinking we cud help each other since the whole class din reli understand our lecturer's teachings.. In the end i became the source for all of them.. Asking me every single question.. Juz hope tat they didnt copy word by word or else i'll be in trouble.. One of them even passed his question paper to me n asked me to fill in 3 questions which have like 4 answers each.. Wats the point of travelling all the way here n spending all the money when u dun wanna study???
Tat point i juz couldnt take it anymore.. If 1 or 2 questions, its still ok for me, but this is too much.. I didnt care how he felt towards me, i juz shoved it back to him n walked away to hand in my answers..

Why do i still have this feeling in me???

Lonely, with noone to lean unto but You

Please kill this old flame inside of me...

I feel like a jerk for what i'm feeling right now..

Listening to :

Samsons - Kenangan Terindah

Reaching out for time...

Saturday, September 15, 2007

The entire week i've been telling myself to buck up this weekend and use it to update all my assignments... coz nex week happen to be the deadline for most of it..
Its edi 4pm n im still stuck with the 1st, econs..
I still have an english essay due friday n a photoshop motivational poster due monday.. Not to mention accounting n law which happen to be a group assignment..

Not onli tat, im suppose to prepare for accounting n law paper which happen to be nex tuesday n friday..

Wat is wrong with me???

Woke up around 11 this morning (slept at around 4 last nite, nope, not studying.. ) and started cleaning up my room.. Its scary to see the amount of dust collected in a whole week.. its like i havent been sweeping for ages.. Haihz.. Prob living outside alone.. Gotta learn though.. :P

Im sooooooooooooooo sleepy n lazy right now.. Can't even blog properly.. Haihz haihz..

I was thinking of getting my hair back to black.. wat do u think? kinda bored withthis colour edi ler.. Some more need to maintain.. susahnya.. ish ish.. Financially also affected.. Every 2 months 100bux goes to re-colouring.. Haihz..

Its been so frustrating, ever since i came back from melaka, i started to reli reli take care of my face.. Wash like 3 to 4 times a day, put this put that...

Last week it was quite ok edi.. A few late nite sleeps n all the pimples start coming back..

ARGH!!!

Gonna go out for dinner with family again later..

If onli i could drive n i have a car, i cud drive back home n back here, without them coming up..

Aint tat great?

But Nooooooo!!! I have to wait for the very last minute of my sem break onli to start taking my license..

In the end, till now i still cannot drive.. :(

Making a turn back to emo...

Listening to :

Michael Jackson - You Are Not Alone

Lost in a sea of faces

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Mood swings today.. Ever since Martin start sulking coz of his probs, i also terjangkit..
Feeling guilty coz everytime i meet him, he would whine abt her not seeing him and how things are how they are now, and all i can do is juz sit dwn there and listen.. Can't advice much coz im a big failure in this field..

Thinking abt today, felt kinda happy n sad at the same time.. Happy coz i knw tat im not juz stuck with a specific group of ppl. Everywhere i go, there r ppl i knw.. N tats gud to knw.. Even simple things like going dwn for dinner, i can spot lots of familiar faces around.. Unlike sem1, this is so much different.. Or rather so much more fun... :D

To think of wat happened btw Prashanth n Jane, its scary actually.. To think that a few weeks ago they were still haging out, all lovely dovey n all, n today she actually doesnt even wan to c him.. How fast things cud turn around.. But at least the both of them r still single at the moment.. Tat i respect, it shows tat they were truthful to their own feelings.. They dint got together juz for the sake of getting together..
Felt so guilty tat after Jane replied me, i asked her who she was pula..
Coz Prashanth used my phone the previous day to sms her.. Mana tau she wud reply to my phone.. Some more so early in the morning.. I was like so blur, i pun reply to ask her who she was la.. Tiba tiba sms me asking me nt to juz hurt ppl n leave like tat..

Woke up later in the morning then onli teringat.. Kesian her.. Supposed to be turning a guy off, kena reply asking who is she pula... XD
Replied to apologize to her, thinking she wud be pissed off or something, wasnt counting on her replying me edi.. Good thing she did.. Haha..

Can't help this feeling inside of me,

Can't help but to feel lonely,

Don't get me wrong,

I have lots of friends,

I just don't have FRIENDS,

If u know wat i mean...

Not alone, just lonely...

Listening to :

The Click Five - Empty

Of flower eggs n kasut Bally

Seven things to be done before my death.
1. Travel around the world with my family... or a loved one..
2. Go to church together as a family.
3. Write n record decent songs.
4. To be satisfied with whatever i have n blessed with.
5. Take amazing photos..
6. Erm...Spending time juz designing n decorating my very own room frm scratch?
7. Melt a girl's heart with a single glance... Haha!!! XD Out of ideas...

Seven things I will NOT do even if it kills me.
1. Abandon Him.
2. Smoke
3. Drugs
4. Disappear when im truly needed..
5. Forsake my loved ones
6. Stop playing guitar... or music in general...
7. Stop learning... :)

Seven things I do when I'm away from the public.
1. Cam-whore.. (not onli girls do tat k?)
2. Run around naked... (FREEDOM!!! XD)
3. Spend as much time as possible in the shower...
4. SS with my guitar...
5. Reminisce
6. Lay down in awkward places n start daydreaming... (Favourite spot : Under the bed... XD)

Seven fav sentences/quotes.
1. Walau wei!!!
2. Serious ar?
3. Haha.. Very funny..
4. Wats up
5. I'll see u when i see u...
6. Yea rite....
7. Dunno yet.. C how ler..

Seven favourite songs from all time.
1. Iris - Goo goo dolls.
2. Afroman - Beacause I Got High
3. Backstreet Boys - Quit Playing Games With My Heart
4. Deja Voodoo Spells - Five
5. Coldplay - Yellow
6. Elliot Yamin - Wait For You
7. Innuendo - Belaian Jiwa

Seven things I'll make you wish you didn't do if you did.
1. Cheat on me...
2. Backstab behind my back
3. Provoke me espcially abt religion
4. Hurt my loved ones.
5. Underestimate my capabilities
6. As a fren, betray me.
7. Use me.

Seven people to tag.
1. Whoever is viewing this now.. :P

*Kay tagged me.. Btw, my name is spelled with a single 'h'... :D

Listening to :

Backstreet Boys - Never Gone

Demand, Supply, Market Equilibrium.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Mid Term!!! Sem2 is reli reli killing wei.. Coming to exams, totally cannot relax..
All the subjects are so tough.. Reli need that xtra time for me to juz take off....
Guess now its 1 of them.. XD

Unbelievable.. I think its the very 1st time i woke up so early ever since i came to limkokwing...
believe it or not, i got up around 530!!! Unbelievable!!! The last time i remember getting up so early was during spm, when i freaked out coz i couldnt cover all the topics n i gotta force myself up so early to study.. Same situation...

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Sleepy!!!

Listening to :

Planetshakers - Fall In This Place

Limkokwing University of Rubbish Administration...

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Walau... more than a week i din blog edi.. ever since i took off to melaka till now...
been nz since i came back.. got lots of catching up to do... not onli with revision (mid terms next week) but also assignments..
Our beloved Management lecturer is reli reli RELI getting unto my nerves.. The previous week he kept rushing us for our group assignment. Telling us this week is the deadline!!! Those who dun hand in will not be given marks..
Michelle, Fatma, Ghazi n myself rush like dogs getting it all done on Monday itself... At last also we push it to Tuesday n finally we got it all done.. By wednesday we did all the formating, page number, cover page , everything.. And guess what..
Thursday noon i got the msg tat he canceled this week's class, coz he got some meeting on.. -.-'''
I RELI HATE THIS GUY!!!
Of all the lecturers, even though we had some issues with out Law lecturer as well, Management is always the one that pisses us off..

Another memorable incident, yesterday there was a list of names going around the class.. Stating the status of students n outstanding payments.. N my name wasnt on tat list at all... Not even with the 'barred' status.. So i went to bursary to clear things up..
Lined up for abt half an hour, then onli my turn came.. They lady checked my status n it seems I HAVENT EVEN REGISTERED FOR SEMESTER 2!!!
This is edi WEEK 6, and next week is my mid term!!! Wat the???
I had to dig out all my registration documents with the receipt n everything to show her..
Then she checked the date i admitted, n she said "Oh! Patutlah! Tat day kita sistem dwn.. Tats y ur not registered..." -.-'''
If i havent checked yesterday i would've been barred frm my mid term nex week...
So much for innovation n creativity.. So much for globalization...
How can u go global when even simple things like registering student cant be done properly???
Haihz.. Wat have i gotten myself into by coming here...

Its 12pm now.. N im having class accounts class at 1.. So ironic huh.. My accounts lecturer is trying the best he can to have as many classes as possible before the mid term.. whereas my management lecturer doesnt even give a damn abt replacing last Thursday's class...

K.. Enough of whinning edi... I totally ruined the mood of this post.. Haha.. :P
Tonite i'll be going out to puchong for dinner with my parents.. Gotta take some time to unwind a little bit..
At the same time gotta top up on my supplies.. Im outa milk, milo, biscuits, toner...
Haihz.. I've been saving up so much this week, thinking i'll have some xtra money for the end of the month, in the end i still have to spend on all these stuff..
I seven skipped lunch for a few days.. XD
I dun even knw how am i gonna survive when i come out to the world..
Nowadays, if ur staying in kl.. Even 2k per month salary, juz cukup cukup makan onli..
Price of everything going up.. by the day...
Ish...

Oh yah! Mel Gibson showed up this week in Limkokwing.. He's involved in the new film academy juz formed.. How do all the celebrities end up here anyways??? XD

Listening to :

Sixpence None The Richer - What Can I Do